hellos and goodbyes

There are times when tears are appropriate. They are most appropriate at times of loss. I cannot cry so I write my tears down and let words mourn for me.

We are fortunate to have great people come into our lives, shining lights that warm us and bring hope, but eventually these lights extinguish or are carried away to light other lives. I wish that it didn’t have to come to this, that we could be promised the eternal glow of those we cherish. Unfortunately, we must suffer as part of life; we must learn to accept loss. I have met some of the most amazing people in the last few months and they must continue on their journey. Our meeting was a mere layover and all parties involved were aware, but it doesn’t make the loss any less painful. I think it may in fact make it all the worse. So here we are with a choice: to carry on in denial of the inevitable loss that will come, or turn away from the world and live in solitude. My vote is for the latter, but it is almost impossible- "no man is an island" etcetera, etcetera...

Friendships and love stand in defiance of logic. We allow ourselves to connect with people knowing that these connections are fleeting. Why? I have been thinking about this question a lot recently. I can’t come up with an answer other than the illogical hope and self delusion that these connections cannot break or weather over time. Maybe it is that the beauty we allow into our lives however short it may be, it stays with us always. We have happy memories and laughter that echoes through the years. I am getting sentimental in my old age, I fear.

This is for my recent friends who travel on across the globe: you will be missed.

Hula

Had my first hula & tahitian dance class today. I suck but it's fun! Let me tell you, I was in a class with people who have been in it for months or years or since birth and then there's me & Maria... I am so happy she was there with me (with her daughters watching) otherwise I would have felt way out of place. It was bad enough that I was the only non Asian/Pacific Islander there, and then to be off beat! Damn that. In 2 weeks I am so going to be better. I had a 10 year old making fun of me. What is this world coming to?